Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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