Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Terrible idea I love it
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
