Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
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