I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
