bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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