No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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