I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
