Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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