no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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