ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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