spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Randomize
