ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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