Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
