It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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