Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Randomize
