I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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