Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
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