I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
