So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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