quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize