Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Randomize
