It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
