I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
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Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
We have started to decorate penises.
I fill condoms, not promises.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
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Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
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