I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
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