I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
