Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
