Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
