im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
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I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
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I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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