craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize