Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
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