Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
