Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Betty ford says i'm here all night
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
