i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
porn star boner night. come get it.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
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