singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize