If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
