Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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