great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
