Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Randomize
