its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize