I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
