it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
