I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Your dad touched me again.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
