They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
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