if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
