before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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