Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
