The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Randomize