Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
