Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
so let's talk penis.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Randomize
