I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
