i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Randomize
