my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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