thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
