so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
