I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I think I just sharted jello shots
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize