This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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