What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
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