Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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